WARNING: (To say there's a point to this blog would be misleading. I'm writing this because I feel like these things, as scrambled as they are, need to be said.)
You can't get very far in life without getting at least one second chance. Every one of us gets a chance to live...to be free...to understand life. While those are broad subjects, I think they represent, fairly, the common thought-provoking spectrum. I'm no different than any of you. I fail tests, dream about living in Toys 'R Us, and listen to my iPod. That's freedom...that's beauty. That's what reminds us we're human.
Why do we always question the world? Why can't we let it be? Why such intrigue? I think it's because we think there's something greater. Whether you think that's God or not...you do think there's something greater out there. Am I wrong?
I've always had a drive to pursue an epic, fulfilling life. Why? Well, I think that's mostly to compensate for my shortcomings. Where is my motivation though? Where along the path of my life did I lose it? We've all lost a fair amount of motivation by this point in our lives. I just don't know why mine has left me entirely. Only so many (few) things can do that to a person. What needs to change? I've had "life-altering" events occur in my life. They've changed nothing. Maybe I need to be diagnosed with something serious. I think all it really takes for somebody to change their ways is the right person to tell them to do it.
If anybody has thoughts on this...please share.
If anybody has thoughts on this...please share.
2 comments:
"Life-altering" events are rare, if not non-existent. The Israelites of the Old Testament saw God freaking part the Red Sea and still, give it some time, and they were right back where they had been, complaining against God and their circumstances.
"Life-altering" events are, in reality, usually more like "month-altering" or "week-altering" events.
Perhaps your drive to pursue an epic, fulfilling life is more than just a subconscious desire for you to compensate for your shortcomings. I think God constructs in each of our hearts and minds the understanding that there's more to our existence than endless routine and a normal, self-indulgent life.
I dunno, man... One of my biggest fears is to end up in a rut, living from weekend to weekend (like I do in college) without any real drive or excitement beyond that.
(Post a new blog! I, for a fact, read them; you can count on that, my friend.)
Changing your life... can't be caused by even the best person just telling you to. You of all people should know that for a fact. People that loved you told you to try harder at school for your whole life. And even if the "right" person made you work hard for awhile... it's never really going to stick until you decide to do it on your own, with no pressure from anyone else.
God is the best person. And yet time and time again I get good advice from him and ignore it. I have to decide that it's worth it. I have to decide to do what's best.
We're in college. This is when we make some huge decisions about who we are and who we're going to be. We have to see who we want to be in our future... and what that actually means for our present. What do we have to do to get there? As for me... I want to be loving. And no matter how 'nice' I try to be to people... There's no way I can be that without God. Because God is love. He's the only one that can make us really understand it, the only one that can make us love people the way that we should. Loving people with their faults, without getting mad when they make the wrong decisions that they think are the right ones... Love means giving up control. And that is something that I would never, ever be able to do on my own.
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