Somber, yet satisfying

There was a time in my life where failing was fun...failing was how I dealt with things. I've always wanted to be the "epic hero", if you will...the guy that takes the fall for everyone else...or does something for someone in selflessness. I've come to the conclusion that I'll never be that guy. I'll never climb those mountains, I'll never sacrifice as much as I'd like to.

I used to love pretending my life was deeper than what it really was. I think I've grown tired of that now. People don't seem to care all that much. They're more interested in your movie tastes than your complexity...not that the two can't go hand-in-hand. I sometimes think I'm the most retarded alien of an alien species and they've let me grow here...as a joke to the rest of this alien race. It's like the Truman Show...but without the good acting.

Things I would go back in time to warn myself about:

- Transformers
- Callis Internet Service
- Linkin Park's "Minutes to Midnight"
- Trading in games to Gamestop
- Love and how I should have held it off until I met Natalie...then, never let it go
- All my failures...
- The 2004 play-offs (Cubs fan grabs the ball...)
- Bill Murray's current acting career
- Buying dark clothing...nobody likes it but me
- Failing so much...
- Trying to talk to people about my failures...nobody cares.
- Pretending life is deeper than others let on. Life can only be broadened through God, I've found out. Without him, the search for a deeper meaning is...ridiculous.
- That burger I had tonight...

I leave you with this thought:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU